Broken
by HaganenoKyojin104310
Summary: Edward had only just become a state alchemist. Why did this have to happen so suddenly? My first story on this site; hope you guys think it's good! Warnings: Rape and MPreg (in Chapter 2) Rated M for violence.
1. Chapter 1: Violation

Broken

By: Julia Ai Jamieson

Edward had only recently made history by becoming the youngest State Alchemist at the age of 12. He felt very proud the day he received his certification. However, a few soldiers weren't so happy. "He's just a kid." One of them said, "I bet he only did this to take the spotlight."

"In any case, I can't stand the thought of having a whiny little brat running around HQ." the other said. "So what do you say we break his spirit a little?"

"How?" the first asked.

"You remember those Ishvalan girls who struggled against us? I was thinking we give him a similar treatment; after all, I dunno about the brat's parents or what they're up to, but his virginity is something we can easily take." The other snickered at his devilish plan.

"And the best part; he's 12, it won't take too much to keep him quiet!"

"So, how do we lure him in?"

"Oh, I know!" As the three soldiers conspired to rob the young Alchemist of one of the few things he had left, said preteen was in the Colonel's office receiving his certification.

"Congratulations, Edward; you've just officially become a dog of the military." Roy Mustang said half jokingly, handing over the certificate.

"Fullmetal…?" Edward asked, reading the certificate.

"The Fuhrer gives each of us an alias to go by; yours is Fullmetal." Edward grinned.

"I like it; it sounds nice and ominous." As Edward was walking out to meet his brother outside the headquarters, a man he'd never seen before walked in front of him.

"Hey, by any chance are you Edward Elric, the 12-year-old State Alchemist?" he asked.

"Depends; who's asking?" Edward joked.

"Sgt. Humbert Hanigan. I'm here for Lt. Col. Morton Blom. We'd like to invite you to our office to celebrate your official certification." Edward raised an eyebrow.

"I thought State Alchemists were looked down on as the dogs of the military."

"You're different; you received your certification at age 12! The average age of certification is 24; this is a huge accomplishment, would you like to celebrate with me and Lt. Col. Blom?" Edward smiled and nodded.

"Okay, sounds good!" _These people are pretty cool._ Edward thought to himself. _I wonder how we'll celebrate; I hope we have cake!_ The two walked over to the Lt. Col.'s office. "Oh, I just remembered; I'd better go get my brother, Al! He wouldn't wanna be left out! He's right outside."

"Ah, don't worry; we'll get him on the way out."

"Oh, okay." The Sgt ushered Edward into the office and looked up and down the hallway before smirking and closing the door, making sure to lock it. "Why'd you lock the door, if you don't mind me asking?" Edward asked.

"Y'know, kid," the man who was behind the desk said, "You've got a lot of nerve." Edward raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"He means you're just some punk kid stealing the limelight from us war heroes." The Sgt explained; the two men drew ever nearer to the boy, who was growing ever more uneasy.

"I think you guys have me all wrong; you see—" Edward tried to explain himself, but the man who was behind him covered his mouth.

"Y'know, kid; this'll be a whole lot easier if you don't struggle." He whispered in the helpless boy's ear.

Edward's golden eyes widened in fear as one of the men loosened up his belt. He attempted to break free, but alas, the man holding him back was too strong for him. He tried to scream, to say "No", but his voice caught in his throat as one of the men began to touch his penis. He attempted to squirm away from the hands close to his lower area, but it was no use; they only continued touching him, chuckling at his attempts to free himself.

"Relax, kid, we're only trying to show you a good time." One of them said. Edward couldn't even keep up with who was who anymore. "Hey, we're gonna need a gag for when we lay him down; he'll prob'ly still be screaming." Edward's eyes widened once again in fright and he tried to squirm free of their grip, but again, it was no use. They tied some fabric around his mouth tight enough to prevent his screams from reaching outside the room.

The men slipped his boots then his pants and boxers fully off. _No!_ Edward mentally cried. _No, no, no! Stop it! Don't!_ "I'll be the first to have my fun." The Lt. Col said, positioning Edward on his hands and knees with his butt in the air.

"Or better yet, he could suck me while you fuck him in the ass." The Sgt suggested as he unbuckled his belt as Edward looked around in fright for an escape.

"There's a reason we work together." The Lt. Col said as he positioned himself at Edward's entrance. Edward tried again and again to cry for help.

"Now be a good boy and don't scream when I take off the gag," The Sgt said in a mockingly sweet tone, "if you want it to be over soon, that is." Edward sighed. _I should just let them get through with me quick and easy._ He thought as the gag was untied. Tears streamed from his eyes as the older man's penis was forced into his mouth and the other man's penis was forced into his anus. He sobbed in pain at the feeling of his walls being forcibly stretched.

Oh, the pain. Again and again. Edward cried to himself, his sobs muffled by the penis in his mouth. "Dammit, you little brat; suck it already!" the Sgt ordered, pulling Edward's braid as hard as he could. The poor blond screamed against the muffle as he was given no option but to suck. Eventually, the two older men came into the young blond. They both pulled out and snickered at the young boy's agony. The Sgt covered Edward's mouth and forced him to swallow. "Now be a good little boy and don't tell anyone about this. We wouldn't want to get in trouble for fucking in the office, now would we?" the Lt. Col said as he and the Sgt fixed themselves up to appear presentable. Edward sobbed, unable to say anything. The two older men left the room as well as the building. After mustering up the strength to stand once again, Edward put his boxers, pants, and boots back on and crawled to the nearest bathroom and hid in one of the stalls to cry his eyes out.

Edward felt something dribbling out of his behind, and took off his pants as well as his boxers and used toilet paper to check what it was. It was a mixture of semen and his own blood. He was also painfully hard, yet afraid to take care of it. _What should I do?_ He thought to himself.

After he managed to clean himself up and settle down a little, Edward stepped out of the stall and his face reddened when he saw Riza Hawkeye in the room. "I-uh-this-this is the Men's room, isn't it?" Edward stuttered awkwardly.

"Don't worry, it's a unisex bathroom." Riza reassured him. Edward sighed in relief. The last thing he needed was to have accidentally gone in the wrong bathroom after what he'd just experienced. "Edward, have you been crying?"

"Huh? What makes you say that?"

"Your nose is suddenly stuffed up and your eyes are red and puffy." _I don't think I should tell._ Edward thought. _She probably won't believe it._

"Oh. It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? If it's because you're nervous about joining the army at such a young age—"

"No, I promise, you don't have to worry about it, everything's just fine!"

"Clearly not if you've been crying. Does it have to do with your brother?"

"No." Edward decided to submit to this.

"Is it a girl?"

"No."

"Did someone hurt you?" Tears beaded at Edward's eyes and he nodded. "How? What did they do to hurt you?"

"I-I don't wanna talk about it."

"Did they tell you not to tell anyone? You do know you have a rank equivalent of major, right?"

"One of them outranks me; he's a Lt. Col."

"You're still allowed to tell if they hurt you; Mustang can have them court marshaled. What did they do, did they hit you?"

"No. Hawkeye, I can deal with this by myself." Edward was about to walk away.

"When you walk, it looks like you're in pain." Edward froze dead in his tracks.

"I-it doesn't hurt to walk, Lieutenant."

"Edward, you can tell me if you were raped." Edward turned around, slightly confused.

"Raped…?"

"Rape is when the assailant forces their victim into sexual intercourse." Tears filled Edward's eyes.

"And-and it's illegal?"

"Yes. It's a major crime that can land an assailant with 5 years prison time and since you're underage that's 7 years. Edward, did this or did this not happen to you?" Edward looked at her, thinking long and hard about what to say. Slowly, he began to crumble. Starting with a few tears, then slowly turning to full-on bawling, Edward confessed everything that happened. Riza allowed him to cry on her shoulder, rubbing his back comfortingly the whole time. "Do you want to tell the Col? He can have them Court Marshaled and put on trial in a heartbeat." Edward shook his head.

"I'm s-scared!" under normal circumstances, Edward would have been embarrassed at how childish he sounds, but at this point he wasn't even thinking about what he was saying anymore.

"What do you have to be afraid of?"

"Wh-what if they find me and-and they-they-"

"Ssssssshhhhhh…Ed, settle down; I promise Roy and I will handle this. We'll make sure they can't get to you again and we'll certainly make sure something like this will not happen again."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Do you want to wash your face before we tell the Colonel?" Edward nodded. After he splashed some cool water on his face, Riza walked him down the hallway toward the Colonel's office until one of the rapists happened to see them. Edward hid behind the Lieutenant, who didn't even question it. The rapist smirked at the boy, who barely mustered the courage to glare at him. He walked into the Colonel's office with the Lieutenant. "Sir, there are 2 soldiers who we need to court marshal right now." Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? What did they do, who are they?" he asked, not even looking up from his "paperwork" (AKA doodling), clearly uninterested.

"Look up, sir; this is serious! They raped Edward!" Roy's eyes widened and he looked up at the two blonds standing before him. The younger of the two blushed lightly, feeling weak for having this happen to him.

"You've gotta be kidding! I only took my eyes off of him for 10 minutes!" Roy exclaimed.

"I'm-I'm sorry." Edward apologized.

"You don't have to apologize." Riza insisted. "Colonel, I'm being as serious as a heart attack; we need to send those two soldiers to jail as soon as possible." Roy nodded.

"But first, Edward, we need you to tell us exactly how it happened." Edward shook his head.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now. I need to find Al and get back to the hotel and take an hour-long shower." He explained.

"Edward, it'd only benefit us if you don't shower for now; I understand if you feel really dirty right now, but your skin may still have traces of your rapists' DNA."

"If you say so." They had a few police officers and doctors check Edward for the rapists' DNA as well as any signs of internal injury or signs of possible STD's.

After a few weeks, Edward had managed to make somewhat of a recovery emotionally and was acting like his usual self. He'd been put on antibiotics in case either of the rapists left him with an STD the doctors couldn't detect. They'd found the rapists and were about to put them on trial. Edward was glad to see some justice coming to the two criminals, though he was slightly annoyed that this whole time he couldn't go too far without some kind of escort. At the moment, his escort was Maes Hughes. _At least I get to choose who my escort is._ Edward had thought.

"Lt. Hawkeye said they'll be getting 7 years prison time; is that right, Lt. Col.?" Edward asked.

"Well, this is the first time someone your age has become a state alchemist, so we'll just see what the protocol is; we might just decide to treat you as an adult." Maes explained. Edward nodded.

"I don't mind too much whether I'm treated as a child or an adult anyway; I just can't wait to see them behind bars."

A bit of time passed, and Edward had to go to the bathroom. He convinced Maes that it was just down the hall and therefore he didn't need an escort. On the way there, he felt a strong hand grasp his arm. Edward jumped slightly, and turned, wide-eyed, to see one of the men who raped him. Edward tried to pull away. "This would've been _so_ much easier if you just kept your mouth shut." The rapist said, dragging Edward out somewhere.

"No! Stop it! Stay away from me, you freak! Bastard!" Edward shouted. He was dragged out of the court, out to an alley. "Let go, son of a bitch! So now I can't even go to take a piss without this happening!?" the rapist threw Edward against the brick wall, Edward screamed as the back of his head hit the wall. The rapist cut off Edward's pants with a knife, no doubt scratching up his victim's thighs. Everything was becoming hazy to Edward. He tried to fight back, but the rapist held him down by his abdomen after tearing off the lower half of his tank top, and was pushing down so hard there was no doubt going to be a bruise. As the man ruthlessly slammed into him, Edward thought back to when Riza had promised him it wouldn't happen again. _No…it's happening again._ Edward thought as the rapist left.

Edward was left too weak to cry. Blood streamed from the cuts on his thighs, as well as his walls being torn up once more. This time, he was too afraid to leave the alley.

An hour later, military personnel managed to find him. The broken look in the boy's eyes was enough to touch even the most hardened of soldiers. Tears formed in Edward eyes when he saw Riza. "It…it happened again." He stated simply. When Riza realized what he was talking about, she realized she'd just betrayed the broken boy's trust by not knowing it had happened again. She tried to say something, but Edward was taken away by the police and ambulance before she could. _Forgive me._ She thought.


	2. Chapter 2: Haunted

In the weeks that followed Edward was put through therapy once again as well as being put in the hospital for the injuries that came from the second rape as well as being tested for anymore diseases. He'd requested that Alphonse stay in a different place than him. He didn't want his younger sibling to see how weak he was. After being checked out of the hospital, Edward stayed with Roy Mustang. Roy was surprised that the boy had chosen him of all people, but allowed it none the less. Edward had a hard time getting out of his room at times, thoughts of the rapes consuming him, and Roy would do whatever was needed to help Edward calm down; whether it was cooking stew so that the smell would allow Edward to think of something more happy, or reading Edward's Alchemy notes aloud to take his mind off the rapes, or even simply allowing the boy to cry on his shoulder for a while or stay in the same bed as him for a night to let him know that he cares.

One good day, one in which Edward was reading in the living room while listening to the radio, the doorbell rang. "I've got it." Roy said. He opened the door and saw that it was Maes, Riza, and Alphonse. "Oh, hey, what's up?"

"We came to see Edward." Maes explained. "Alphonse wants to speak with him about what he's been through these past few weeks, Riza wants to speak with him about something she told him before, and I just want to know if he's okay." Roy smiled.

"Come on in." he led the three to where Edward was reading. The blond looked up at them and smiled slightly, his eyes appearing nearly dead, and Alphonse noticed a slight bulge in his brother's middle as though the boy had put on weight.

"Oh, hey." He said quietly. The visitors weren't at all used to Edward Elric being quiet. He was once a bombastic, passionate boy, with a temper so short it could flare up at a pin drop. It was clear to them that the rapes had taken a great toll on his spirit.

"Brother, how are you feeling?" Alphonse asked, sitting in the chair beside Edward. Edward shrugged.

"I guess a little better. The panic attacks aren't occurring as often as they used to, at least. The last major one I had was about a week ago." He explained.

"Look, I know I don't understand completely what you've been through, but I do know that you were severely violated _twice_ and now you're upset because you feel like it was your fault it happened." Edward shrugged once again.

"I don't really know anymore. I mean, I know I was violated, but I don't really know anymore whether or not it was my fault." Edward liked that word better, _violate_ describes what happened to him quite well, whereas _rape_ seems so distant from him, even though it had just happened to him twice

"It wasn't." Riza explained, "Ed, when I found you in the bathroom you didn't even know what the word 'rape' meant. We had to have Falman explain the dictionary definition of the word to you in order to see whether or not the first incident was lawfully considered rape. When it happened again, we'd been looking for the rapist. He asked to make a phone call; he used an old fighting technique to knock out the guard temporarily to get to you." Edward nodded, having heard this story before. "Ed, I said before that it wouldn't happen again; I wasn't anticipating that either of them could have thought of doing that. It's been bothering me since the incident."

"You shouldn't worry yourself with that, Lieutenant." Edward said, his hand mindlessly rubbing his swollen abdomen. "It's my burden to carry."

"You don't have to carry it alone." Maes told him, "The Colonel's been calling us everyday telling us about your progress. He's really worried about you, y'know. We all are. If you ever need to tell us something, don't be afraid to tell us." Edward shook his head.

"There must've been a weird rebound somewhere along the line. Long story short, due to the fact that I somehow got a uterus and ovaries, those men got me pregnant. If this hadn't happened the extra organs just would've sat, inactive in my abdomen pointlessly for the rest of my life. But now, I actually have to give birth; I don't even have the option of abortion because I don't even have a hole where the corpse can come out. I'm having a Cesarean in about 8 months, and while they're at it I'm gonna tell them they can just go ahead and remove the uterus and ovaries because I'll never use them again."

"Are you really going to keep it, Brother?" Alphonse asked, clearly amazed.

"No way. I'm putting the kid up for adoption. There's no way I can take care of them; putting aside the fact that their father violated me to the point where the fact that I haven't had a panic attack in a little over a week is considered progress, I'm 12 years old, and given all the traveling Al and I will be doing, I just don't have time for a kid."

"Have you found any potential parents for the baby?" Riza asked. Edward nodded.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott will adopt them as soon as they're born. We've already got it all worked out. The only thing is that I'll be able to see the baby first, just to know what they look like and, y'know, it's still my kid; I wanna be able to see them, even if it's just once and I can never look at them again." Tears form in Edward's eyes, imagining going through labor, only to find out that his baby looks like one of the men who violated him.

"Well, if you ever need any help getting through this, you know you still have us." Alphonse assures his brother. Edward smiled.

"Thank you."

The next 8 months were complete and utter hell on everyone, especially Edward. He felt the need to hide from the public eye as much as possible; he didn't want them to find out, after all. He especially didn't want word to reach his rapists that they'd gotten him pregnant. Vomiting quickly became the norm for Edward; he could barely keep anything down, but when he could he ate everything in sight. The hormones meant he spent many nights crying himself to sleep inconsolably.

Those nights were the ones where Roy felt the most powerless. His subordinate was pregnant against his will and was ashamed and embarrassed that it even happened and couldn't even let it go because he had a constant reminder. Alphonse kept wanting to see Edward, but Edward was afraid to let Alphonse see him in the condition he was in. Everyone was deeply concerned for Edward's well-being. Then came the birth.

Edward was laying on his side, trying to fall asleep. "Please, baby, just let me fall asleep." He begged. "I haven't slept in so long, please, just this once." Suddenly, a pain cut into his lower abdomen. Edward groaned and clutched a pillow, praying for it to go away. He sometimes received cramps because of the baby taking up so much space. But this one was different; it was an especially bad pain, along his lower abdomen. Eventually, it went away. He sighed with relief, and rubbed his belly. "Now, _please_ let me sleep. Just for a few hours." Edward managed to fall into a light slumber, only to wake up 2 hours later with the same exact pain, only this time it was a little stronger. Tears pricked at his eyes as Edward clutched a pillow and whined in pain. "Baby, that hurts, what are you…" Edward froze seeing a growing wet stain on the bed. "Oh my gate…" he murmured.

He shakily stood up and hobbled toward Roy's room and banged on the door as loudly as he could. Roy opened the door and saw Edward in tears, clutching his stomach, obviously in a lot of pain. "Hospital…" Edward sobbed. That was all the hint Roy needed. He led the boy to the car and called the hospital to let them know that Edward was on the way. Right when Edward was in the hospital he asked Roy to let him go through this alone.

When he got into the labor room he was told to sit up on the bed and take deep breaths. He felt the needle go into his back. "Wh-what was that?" he panted.

"That was your epidural. It should kick in pretty soon; you should fall asleep by that time and you shouldn't wake up for a while. We've made the arrangement that the baby's cot is right next to yours all night and however long you stay tomorrow or until his adoptive parents come over." Edward thought he heard the nurse say something after that, but by that point his mind was too foggy for him to care. The anesthesia was clearly working. He laid back in the bed and fell asleep.

Edward woke up 9 hours later and found Roy, Riza, Alphonse, and Mr. and Mrs. Scott in the room with him. "Ah…?" he muttered.

"Good morning, Ed." Mrs. Scott said.

"Is…is the baby okay?" Edward asked groggily.

"Yeah, she's perfectly healthy." Alphonse explained.

"She…?"

"Yup, it's a girl." Roy explained. "And you'll be the first to hold her." Edward looked over to the side and found a baby sleeping peacefully, with a tuft of blonde on top of her head. He smiled tiredly at the child. He hesitantly picked her up and chuckled as she subconsciously snuggled closer to his chest, letting out a small noise.

"Y'know, she's really pretty. So, what's her name?" Edward said, looking at Mr. and Mrs. Scott.

"You should name her." Mrs. Scott insisted.

"No, lawfully she's yours. You ought to name her." Mr. and Mrs. Scott smiled at each other.

"In that case, her name will be Julianna Eddie Scott." Edward chuckled emptily.

"You'd seriously choose her middle name after me?"

"You gave her to us. It's our way of trying to express our gratitude." Edward nodded.

"You okay with that, Julianna?" The girl in his arms opened her eyes groggily, and looked up at the person who'd given birth to her. Edward's face paled seeing her eyes. His golden orbs were met with an innocent hazel gaze.

The same hazel he was forced to look at as he was violated.


	3. Chapter 3: Thoughts

Edward took a deep breath, now 20 years old. "Are you ready, Mr. Elric?" the director asked. Edward turned to him, and with a small smile, he nodded.

"It's now or never; I don't think there'll ever be a time when I'm this bold about the incident ever again." Edward explained.

He'd been asked a few weeks prior to talk about his rape case, in order to spread awareness of the crime. At first he wasn't exactly sure, even after 8 years, that he was ready to talk so openly about either incident, but he was told that it could help people in situations similar to the one he'd been in, and he wanted them to be able to have some voice about their stories. Therefore, he said yes. So now there he was, in the studio, sitting on a stool with a camera pointed at him. Yes, this was happening.

"So, what do you want me to say?" Edward asked.

"Just tell us what you want about the incidents, how they made you feel, that sort of thing." The director explained. "Are you comfortable with this?" Edward nodded.

"Yes. Thank you." The camera turned out. Edward began to speak the words that had been floating in his subconscious mind from the time he was 12 years old.

 _I was only 12 years old,_

 _I'd been named the Fullmetal Alchemist._

 _I was happy,_

 _I felt like for once,_

 _My life was going as I wanted it._

 _That whole perspective would be changed,_

 _Not even half an hour afterward,_

 _By two men dressed in military uniform;_

 _The people I thought were supposed to support me,_

 _Who were supposed to help me to reach my goal,_

 _Betrayed my trust in the military not even 30 minutes after_

 _My induction._

 _One tricked me into going into his office,_

 _I thought we were going to celebrate;_

 _He claimed he and his superior would take me out,_

 _We'd have dinner, and discuss the military._

 _Only once had I ever been so wrong before then._

 _As soon as I stepped into that wretched office,_

 _The two men stole any purity I had left._

 _They invaded every part of me that is supposed to be kept_

 _ **Private.**_

 _I was scared._

 _I was crying._

 _I wanted to scream._

 _I wanted to run._

 _I wanted to yell,_

" _ **NO, NO, NO,**_

 _ **NO, I DON'T LIKE THIS,**_

 _ **NO, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE,**_

 _ **NO, NO, NO!**_ _"_

 _But the words were stopped,_

 _Dead,_

 _By the invisible ball that had formed in my throat,_

 _Any sobs I let out were muffled,_

 _By one of the men._

 _He was in my mouth,_

 _His taste bitter,_

 _Cruel,_

 _Disgusting;_

 _It only made me want to vomit._

 _I wanted to scream from the pain of my walls,_

 _That were forcibly stretched out,_

 _By a man who I hated._

 _I wanted to murder these men,_

 _Yet I also wanted to die;_

 _I felt gross,_

 _I felt dirty,_

 _I felt completely humiliated that I let this happen._

 _I gagged as the man who'd forced himself in my mouth_

 _Released his vile fluid into me,_

 _He forced me to swallow all of it,_

 _And merely snickered as I choked._

 _His pal had released into me._

 _It was gross and horrible,_

 _I felt as though someone had peed inside me._

 _They laughed at me as I curled up on the floor,_

 _Wishing for nothing short of death._

 _They fixed themselves up,_

 _And left me alone._

 _I got dressed,_

 _And hid myself away in the bathroom to cry._

 _I was humiliated._

 _I was so dirty,_

 _So gross,_

 _So violated._

 _A mixture of semen and my own blood_

 _Was staining my underwear,_

 _My private part was forced into hardness_

 _By stimulation, not choice_

 _I was terrified._

 _What was I supposed to do?_

 _I found a friend, though;_

 _With her help,_

 _And the help of our commanding officer,_

 _We managed to find the criminals._

 _They were put on trial._

 _I was happy to see justice coming to them._

 _The day of the trial came,_

 _I was relieved,_

 _Finally, some justice!_

 _I had to step out for a second,_

 _My bodyguard stayed behind,_

 _I was vulnerable once again,_

 _I was such a fool._

 _One of my rapists walked over,_

 _This time I did yell,_

 _I cursed him out,_

 _I tried to fight back._

 _He dragged me outside the courthouse,_

 _He threw me against a brick wall_

 _He used a knife to cut my pants off_

 _He then forced himself into me once again._

 _I tried to fight back,_

 _But he held me down,_

 _I was losing blood fast,_

 _I tried to fight back,_

 _But I couldn't._

 _I was scared._

 _I was crying._

 _I wanted to scream._

 _I wanted to run._

 _I wanted to yell,_

" _ **NO, NO, NO,**_

 _ **NO, I DON'T LIKE THIS,**_

 _ **NO, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE,**_

 _ **NO, NO, NO!**_ _"_

 _But my body wouldn't cooperate._

 _By the time he finished,_

 _My thighs were covered in blood_

 _And I was only half conscious._

 _I was too scared to leave the alley,_

 _It was my fault, after all,_

 _How could I have been so blind?_

 _He did it again._

 _He stole the purity I had almost gotten back through therapy._

 _I hated him so very much._

 _I still do._

 _I lived away from my own brother,_

 _The only surviving member of my family,_

 _Because I was so ashamed that I didn't want him to see me._

 _I had to stay with a man who I came to think of as a surrogate dad,_

 _He was probably my strongest support._

 _He noticed me getting sick more than usual,_

 _He asked if I was sick._

 _We went to the doctor._

 _There is a high toll for Human Transmutation._

 _I was given a womb and ovaries,_

 _In place of my arm and leg._

 _I was fertile._

 _I was pregnant with a baby girl._

 _They told me that although it may be possible_

 _The baby would come out the way it came in,_

 _They weren't going to take the chance;_

 _If I had an abortion_

 _And the baby couldn't leave my body,_

 _It wouldn't be healthy to carry a corpse inside me._

 _So now, not only was I raped_

 _ **Twice**_ _,_

 _But I was forced to carry the child of a monster._

 _When I got back to Roy's house,_

 _I nearly killed myself._

 _I went into his laundry room,_

 _And tried to drink bleach._

 _He stopped me, though;_

 _He held me back from the bleach,_

 _And reminded me that it's not worth killing myself._

 _He told me that even if I couldn't take care of her,_

 _There was someone out there_

 _Who wanted—needed a baby,_

 _But couldn't biologically have their own child._

 _I was finally gaining control in my life;_

 _I continued to feel depressed throughout pregnancy,_

 _I occasionally had panic attacks_

 _When something reminded me of the incidents,_

 _I couldn't sleep at all,_

 _I threw up constantly,_

 _And when I could keep food down I ate everything in sight._

 _However, the threat of losing control_

 _ **Of my own body**_

 _Decreased significantly, I discovered,_

 _And by the time I went into labor,_

 _I managed to become mostly happy again._

 _After delivering the baby,_

 _Her adoptive parents named her_

 _Julianna Eddie Scott._

 _Eddie, after me, Edward Elric._

 _I teared up when they told me this,_

 _And asked Julianna if she liked her name._

 _She opened her eyes._

 _They were hazel._

 _Just like one of my rapists._

 _I tried to visit her a few times during the time she was a baby,_

 _But I couldn't handle it,_

 _Her eyes made me think too much of what the father did to me._

 _I now regret not playing much of a role,_

 _In the life of a child,_

 _Who is, biologically, mine._

 _I feel guilty about that,_

 _But recently I've been able to feel better about what happened_

 _To bring Julianna into this world;_

 _I still hate my rapists,_

 _But I am a survivor._

 _I don't let them keep me down anymore._

A few months later, a 3rd grade class is shown that video that Edward had participated in to learn about violence. A blonde girl's big hazel eyes widen at the mention of the baby's name. "Do any of you have questions about the video?" The teacher asked. The blonde raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Why…why does that baby have my exact name and eye color?" Julianna Eddie Scott asked.


End file.
